I am slightly devastated. By two events. Ok, three. The third one is really more nail-biting anxiety.

I sent my parents off today. I won’t see them till, probably in a year’s time? I previously mentioned that i was getting use to this emotionally-fraught farewells, though temporary but rather extended. Now at least i don’t mope around for the rest of the day in misery, fighting back tears. Unfortunately, my mother has not even gotten used to it. Ok, so maybe instead of actual tears falling, she is now only having wet eyes, but still. It makes it more difficult for me to function!

Anyway, my dad, being the typical Eastern man, attempted to show he loved me by teaching me how to drive quickly around corners – i know i know! But it is a skill i have been wanting to master a long long time. And also he saw how i drove and he complimented me on my driving. To put this into perspective, my father does not think too highly of female drivers, and when i first started to learn how to drive, it was a tremulous time since he was completely domineering and wanted to ensure his daughter did not turn out to be one of those damned female drivers out there. So that’s a really good compliment.

Anyhow, my mum gave me a hug and my dad gave me a rather stiff handshake, which on hindsight, i found totally hilarious. I was imagining what onlookers must have thought. I don’t think dads shake their daughters’ hands so formally? Anyway, i am not complaining. My dad has certainly put more effort into demonstrating he loves us. They did finally revealed their fears for me in going to Guatemala all by myself. I am not sure how to alleviate their anxiety given that i intend to do at least a stint with MSF. I will just have to leave it i suppose.

The second event is that i finally went through my last four pay cheques at the other interns’ insistence. Apparently i have been short-changed but i never find the time or energy to go through my cheques. And they are right. I have been short-changed half a thousand. And that’s only for the last month. Now, instead of feeling elated, i am filled with dread. I am now thinking about the entire year’s wages and the errors that probably occurred and me not following up on it. I did remember that i was paid a lot less than what i am supposed to be getting on quite a few occasions, but i always never got round to checking it. I have to be more vigilant now since i have decided to live alone next year and my finances will be slightly tighter.

The last anxiety-provoking event is that i found a locum shift available for next year but since my roster is not out yet, i don’t know if i will be available! I have emailed my hospital and i am hoping they will get back to me before the shift gets snapped up. That would be mean a loss of income for me. 😦


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