Anticipating in trepidation

In the hospital cafeteria yesterday, discussing with a friend (fellow intern) about my impending overnight hospital shift.

Yuppie:
I am going to spend the entire Saturday studying.

Fellow intern:
What on??

Yuppie (tries to control herself from hysterically shrieking and pulling her hair out in the middle of the cafe):
There are a lot of things that can happen!! It’s New Year’s Eve and the weather forecast said it will be hot! There will be thermal burns, and heat strokes and dehydration! When the sun is shining, people go swimming in the beaches! So there will be stings, and sunburns!

Fellow intern (says soothingly):
No Yuppie, it will be fine. Don’t worry. It will be the same stuff you encounter on the wards.

Yuppie (continues unabated on her tirade):
Then when night descends and the fireworks start, there will be chest pain and vasovagals. Then there will be a lot of booze and so, a lot of road trauma and glassing! There will be lacerations, fractures and soft tissue injuries. And don’t forget the depressive people on New Year’s Eve. There will be suicide attempts, suicide and exacerbation of psychotic episodes with drug usage.

Fellow intern (tries not to laugh):
I’m telling you, it will be fine. No burns, drownings, or stings.

And then at this instant, in walks a child with a severe erythematous (reddened) skin topped with multiple blisters.

Yuppie:
Did i mention burns?

Fellow intern cannot contain herself any longer and bursts out laughing.

Blimey.

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