Things seem to be looking up for a bit.
I hope I haven’t jinxed myself just by saying that.
Great futsal game.
Noticed I’m more an assist than a deliverer.
Hoping for something new.
Both in sports and the social side.
Banging on the professional side,
I have spoken to my closest friends.
This is at the very minimum,
A blessing in disguise.
A running coach?
Or a gym membership?
Things are getting more complicated.
Where I expected to find arrogance and belittlement,
I found gentleness and sincerity.
Where I had given up,
I caught a glimpse of the unattainable circle.
What is going on?
This is perplexing.
I’m incapacitated by my lack of decision making,
Paralyzed by the influx of knowledge.
Glued to my damn phone.
Time to plow.
Don’t forget to plan and prepare
for the important things in life
if it involves your family.
I used to recognize them a lot
And acknowledge them
Straight from the horse’s mouth?
2 good things in a row.
Verge of screaming.
2 main plates.
I think I may have figured this out.
One by one
Patience I must have.
This is interesting.
I find myself fascinated.
I won’t be surprised either though
If it’a all just in my head.
Sitting opposite a park
Like I did those many years ago
In a different life process
But still the same emotional rut
God I miss this place
From sunset to sunrise
I still recall the memories so
I really miss this place
Where will life take me now?
Met up with the bro
And very surprised at his transition too
Is this genetic?
Will next year be the step up phase?
Because I’m bored of this level already.
Caught up with an old friend today
It was good to talk to her
To roar with laughter
To swear and insult each other
And to miss each other
I had a good basketball social
Loads of fun
Then I felt depressed on the way home
Couldn’t even bring myself to get dinner
I will be very curious as to how this pans out
It seems ever time I need a radical change in my life
And my conscious mind ain’t paying attention
My subconscious would drill up this massive depression
That forces me to slow down
Recollect and reflect
Tomorrow I am calling another old friend.
God, I miss them.
I feel happier today,
After I have made up my mind.
Or is it because of my latest toy?
The discovery that there are people like me out there
Or the fragile hope that is rising slowly but surely
But one that scares me at the same time.
Hope is a double edged sword
A catch 22
Can’t live without it
Die with it.
I’m curious and excited.
I need to hold back.
Or I will burn myself out.
Gonna check out the gym.
Back to solitary 8km runs on the treadmill.
Can I do it again?