Hope springs eternal?

Changing soccer clubs.

Got a response from a club near my place.
I’m really thrilled.
I want to play better, be happy, and just have fun.
Is that too much to ask?
I’m over politics.

Made contact with a church yesterday.
I think it’s time to reunite with God.
My medical mission demonstrated something revealing to me.

Why are the missionaries who have nothing to their name, still so happy?
And why do I have everything, and yet still feel empty?
I’m fascinated.

I had a look online,
Was thinking maybe I should join a different soccer league altogether,
Instead of simply changing clubs.
Came across this club,
Affiliated to a church.
Was hesitant.

And then i unknowingly played Futsal with a work colleague,
And discovered he played for their team.
And he was full of praise.
I was curious.
So I looked up their website.
(Actually it was more than that.
I wondered if I could join two leagues and just play soccer every day
Just to satisfy my soccer cravings.)

It looked good.
They encouraged questions about religion.
I like that sort of discussion,
why are we here?
What’s life about?
What’s the meaning of existence?
What’s the bigger picture?
Who’s God?

I made contact.
And had a prompt reply.
They invited me to a social gathering,
Offered life groups,
And asked if I would like to be put in touch with their soccer team.

I searched my brain,
For a mate I could bring along to these events
And I was devastated
I have not a single religious friend.
And that’s when it slowly dawned upon me what’s missing.

Something is being said here.
All these wants, fears, desires and frustrations,
All these bad behavior, envy and insecurities.
Of course I still see them in missionaries,
But they occur at a lower frequency.
Same reason why I chose medicine over a double business degree,
Because I preferred to work with intellectuals rather than fashionistas.
And yet there are still incompetents running around in my profession,
But as I said,
At a much lower rate.
Hence a reduced amount of headache for me.

Most importantly,
I just want to be happy.
I don’t want to feel resentful, frustrated and spiteful.
I just want the world to be a nicer place.
And I can’t do that at my soccer club anymore.
Something has changed.
I was aware of it,
The rest weren’t.
And now we are like the others.

It’s time to go.
And this I have learnt,
The pain of letting go of your true passion,
Knowing that it is heading into ruins.
I see why Steve Jobs had to leave,
Why Mark Zuckerberg stared down the multi-billion offer.
Sometimes it’s better to be autocratic,
Because I know myself best.
Because I’m more competent.
I have no choice but to step up.

Here’s hoping to a great 2013.


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